Plymouth

After a few days in London we headed down to Plymouth to spend Christmas with the in-laws. At this point I think I should clarify exactly how I am related to the family that I went to visit.

The man I refer to as Uncle Tony, in London is actually my dad's cousin and his daughter, referred to as my cousin, is I don't know what with relation to me. We share the same great grandmother, but even so we have grown up as immediate family so that's what we are. As for the family of my "uncle's" second wife in Plymouth: I don't think I can stretch it that far.

Despite the fact that I was a stranger in their mist the family was very welcoming. They had even thoughtfully wrapped up a box of After Eights for me. As to the trip a bonus I got to see; Stonehenge (the car was slowed to 40mph so I could stick my camera out the window), the place where a famous guy was confidently bowling during the defeat of the Spanish Armada, the place where my ancestors set off for the great land now known as America, and some pretty country side with cliffs and big hedges. On the down side I was utterly put to shame in the celebrity name games played with the family.

GPoD: Auch, ein anderen regnerisch Tag? - Oh, another rainy day?

A note to the English for future reference: "Me" is not possessive pronoun! And sentences like, "How 'bout a little more tee fur me cup," are just plain silly.

England Phase 1

Ok, after a long absence here comes a recap of events. Lets go back in years to 2004. That was the year that I headed to my Uncles in London for Christmas.

London is a very nice city if your pockets happen to be deeper than the English Channel. The pound to dollar conversion rate was not helping anything, about 2:1, but 4p for a beer, give me a break. Fortunately I had a free place to stay and meals to help lessen the burden.
Things to do in London:

Drink Ale: It’s no German pils or Weißen but tasty in its own reich.

Take an open top bus tour: Found a mildly fair day on which to take the open top bus tour. Got to see all the famous sites of London, but couldn’t be arsed to get off the bus to examine any of them in detail.

Drive on the left: A bit tricky, every time you turn or stop you have to assess the situation an decide were your going and were traffic will come from, and don’t forget to ignore the horns of the people who are pissed off that you have been working on this calculation for sixty seconds at an empty intersection.

Speak English: Very relaxing.

GWoD: Reich – Realm, Empire, Rich or Prolific



P.S. The English customs workers are some of the friendliest I have met thus far. The man who stamped my passport failed not only to give me the immigration officer scowl but smiled and said welcome! Maybe just luck of the draw.

Last night: (post dated)

Went to German restaurant with friends for dinner. German restaurants arn't bad, although I think I have been quoted as calling Germany "the culinary armpit of the world", and on occasion a good hardy German meal of some form of pork and lots of potatoes hits the spot. More importantly good German restaurants, best quality indicators are the darkness, dinginess, and obsceneness, have the best beer taps. Mmmm, German beer. Anyhow I ordered the pigs knuckle.

Went to Ocean's 12, in spite of bad reviews for other people I know. It was great. High quality acting form the majority of the cast. Story wasn't bad either. To add to the experience I brought Mojitos for in cinema service. They really weren’t that good, but try finding fresh mint in the wintertime in Germany. "Frische Minz, im dies Zeit: Ha," was the general response I got as I searched.

Went to Sophien Club. Was turned away because the toilets were broken, but told to come back in an hour.

Went to AM-PM (A ridiculous tourist club), was turned away because Jeremy's shoe wern't cool enough.

Went to the Alien Bar that has no sign, is in the back of an alley, and to enter you have to ring a door-bell. This may sound strange but in Berlin the more mystery and hype you put around a place the better the Berni's like it. We were admitted to this bar; at least through the door. We made our cocktail selections and I proceeded to the bar to place make the purchase order. A few minutes later the bar Frau returns: "Foto maken ist verboten" (No pictures).
Me with no camera: "Wie Bitte?" (What are you saying you daffy German)
Barmaid: "Sein Fruunden" (Your friends), pointing across the room. Apparently to help with the shroud of mystery there can be now physical evidence that the bar exists.
Me: "Ach, ja" (Oh), I stand and wait for the drinks.
Barmaid: "HALLO, erzaehlen ihnen" (HELLO, tell them)
Me: "Sie koennen, ich aus durf nicht moechte sehen." (You, can don’t want to look like an idiot.)

Went back to Sophian Club, where the toilets were apparently fixed. Dance and enjoyed the remainder of the morning ignoring the fate to come.
In the wee hours of the morning we left the club and headed home. We came to the corner where I was to go left and the others were going to go right. It is here that I said good bye to my good friend Jeremy. Cheers mate, see you soon.

Back in a Jiff

OK, sorry about not keeping up but its been a long holiday, that is sadly nearly over! Anyway I promise to update events in the near future, and would like to call attention to my friend Alex who has also followed suit and joined the blog world. Normally I am the more useless type of friend who could care less, however as Alex has learned how to post pictures, unlike me, and posted some pics of me in York, I would like to shamelessly promote his blog. That's me enjoying my first roast dinner!

BPoD Ich kann nicht wie Deutsch sprechen erinnern. - I don't remember how to speak German

Nice to Speak English for a Change

Just when you thought you spoke the language you show up in London to find ryming slang.

Where's the Kermit, in need to have me an Authur? - I need to go to the bathroom, wheres the toilet?

Down the apples and pears - At the bottom of the stairs.

Although fortunately there are answers to such problems (thanks to Kate)

This knowledge is also helpful in decoding lines from Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels: "And certainly not when you've got Liberia's deficit in your skyrocket."